Saturday, February 28, 2009

Going Home... Heaven

Good morning, Lord, and thank You for the rain. Today I make preparations for my first week at work. I will be traveling to NC today to meet with Lori and Terry as they will be keeping Brayden for me this coming week. Bad weather is forecast, so we meet today instead of tomorrow as planned. I will be staying a couple of nights with Peggy, so I can go to church on Sunday. I have missed it so very much. I am looking forward to being back to Worship You, O God!
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Last night I spoke with TJ... it was good to be able to just talk to him. I have missed that, very much. I feel, Lord, that I need to let TJ know that I do still love him and that I haven't given up on him... I haven't given up on You and Your ability, O Lord. Give me the grace to grow in godly character, use me as Your instrument. As Samuel says, "Speak Lord for Your servant is listening." I am Yours, thank You Lord.

The following comes from The Gift the New Testament for New Believers.

"You've got your Christian model and your non-Christian model. Those are the only two kinds we carry."
"Well, just looking on the outside, they appear to be pretty similar. What's the difference between the two?"
"You know, you're exactly right. They are very similar. Both have healthy bodies. Both have nice-looking families. Both come equipped with the usual house, car, paying job, microwave, etc."
"Yeah, I see that. But isn't there anything different about them?"
"Well, the Christian model claims to come with more peace of mind and a lot more power. But those who've tried the non-Christian model think it's all in their head. Of course, on the other hand, people have told us that the non-Christian model doesn't seem to hold up as well as the other one. And the warranty is a lot more vague and unreliable. So if I were you, I think I'd go with the other one."
Christians. Built to last.

Heaven is more real than the room you're sitting in. With that in your future, you can stand anything. So even when life scratches you hard enough to break the skin, you have a glorious hope--hope that no defeat is ever final. God's people last forever.

"Then he showed me the river of living water, sparkling like crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the broad street (of the city). On both sides of the river was the tree of life bearing 12 kinds of fruit, producing its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree are for healing the nations, and there will no longer be any curse. The throne of God and of he Lamb will be in the city, and His servants will serve Him. They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. Night will no longer exist, and people will not need lamplight or sunlight,because the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign forever and ever." Revelation 22:1-5

Friday, February 27, 2009

Reflections and Grave Misgivings...Victory Over Death

Good morning, Lord. Thank You for another day, for safe passage through another night. Thank You for Your tender mercy.
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I have been reflecting on my attitudes toward others and I have been selfish. I need to focus more on the needs of others instead of myself. I ask for Your help, O Lord. Guide me this day, help me to grow into the person You want and created me to be. Amen.

Today's readings came from Psalms and Acts. The first is Psalm 13 and Psalm 14:
"How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, my enemy will say, 'I have overcome him,' and my foes will rejoice when I fall. but I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me." Psalm 13
"The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.' They are corrupt, their deeds are vile, there is no one who does good. The Lord looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. All have turned aside, they have together become corrupt, there is no one who does good, not even one. Will evildoers never learn--those who devour my people as men eat bread and who do not call on the Lord? There they are overwhelmed with dread, for God is present in the company of the righteous. You evildoers frustrate the plans f the poor, but the Lord is their refuge. Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion! When the Lord restores the fortunes of His people, let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad!" Psalm 14

The following is a prayer of thanksgiving:
"I will sing of Your mercies, Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make Your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that Your loving-kindness will be built up forever, that You will establish Your faithfulness in the heavens. And the heavens will praise Your wonders, O Lord. Your faithfulness also in the assembly of the holy ones For who in the heavens can be compared with You? who is like You among the children of the mighty? You are greatly feared in the council of the holy ones and more awesome than all who surround You. O Lord God of hosts, who is like You, O mighty Lord? Your faithfulness also surrounds You." Psalm 89:1-2, 5-8.

The New Testament passage is Acts 12:1-19a and the following is the prayer associated with it.
"Your loving-kindness, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains; Your judgements are like the great deep. O Lord, Your preserve people and beasts. How priceless is Your loving-kindness, O God! Both the high and low among people find refuge in the shadow of Your wings. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light." Psalm 36:5-7, 9

The following comes from The Gift the New Testament for New Believers:

Michael was just eight. Barely tall enough to stretch to the top of the red stick that cleared him to ride the big roller coaster. We'd been pumping him all day: "You sure you want to go? It's really scary."
His words said yes. His eyes said he wasn't so sure.
He handed over his ball cap to Mom for safekeeping and took his place with Dad in the turnstiles. Inch by inch, they worked closer and closer, his laugh getting more nervous, his feet and hands a constant fidget.
Before long, the fear was all over his face. "We can go back, son. It's all right." But with a stiff shake of his head, they were locked into the air. his face was white. His knuckles clenched. Fro the longest 45 seconds of his young life, he clung somewhere between guts and glory--holding his breath through every dip, closing his eyes on the ratchety inclines, until it jerked to a halt back at the station, his odyssey complete...the fear gone. "That wasn't so bad. Thanks for taking me, Dad."
Death must be like that. It's not so bad. Thanks for taking us, Dad.

Of all the things you can be thankful to god for, what about the freedom of knowing that death is but a door, that your reward is waiting--just on the other side? The devil can scream and holler and stamp his feet all he want to. He can't have this little soul.

"'Then they will hand you over to persecution, and they will kill you. You will be hated by all nations because of My name. Then many will take offense, betray one another and hate one another. Many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will multiply, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endure to the end, this one will be delivered. This good news of the kingdom will be proclaimed in all the world as a testimony to all nations. And then the end will come.'" Matthew 24:9-14

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Amazed and Open Handed

Hello, Lord. I am blogging late as I made a trip to TN and back today. Thank You for the beautiful day and for the safe trip. I admired Your handiwork on the trip and was continually amazed. You are an awesome God!
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Today I did my Bible study prior to my appointment this afternoon. I did it in the van and was touched by the readings in the Daily Reading and Prayer Bible. The prayer following the Exodus passage regarding the plague of frogs. Here it is as a reminder: "I believe that it is through your Grace, Lord Jesus, that I am saved. (Acts 15:11)...Jesus, I trusted in You when I heard the word of truth, the gospel of salvation. Having believed, I was sealed in You with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is a deposit guaranteeing my inheritance until the redemption of those who are the Father's possession, to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14)"
Then the New Testament reading was Acts 11:1-30 with the prayer following about relationships with others. Here it is as a reminder: "A virtuous wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like decay in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4)...Who can find a virtuous wife? She is worth far more than jewels. The hart of her husband trusts in her so that he has no lack of gain. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12) "
Lord, that is what I want, to be a good, virtuous wife to TJ. I know only You can reconcile our marriage and I ask You for that. Renew our love and devotion to each other, allow our marriage to be a living testament of the work You can do. It is in Your hands, O Lord.

The following comes from The Gift the New Testament for New Believers:

You haven't lived until you've looked into the impoverished eyes of a homeless person and offered him the sack lunch you'd made for yourself that morning. You haven't lived until you've sensed God stirring you to give one hundred dollars to a young couple in your church and heard them tell you how hard they'd been praying for that exact amount. You haven't lived until you've learned that giving is a privilege, giving is contagious.
Giving is fun.
Just take the 10 percent (the tithe) that God asks you to invest in your church. Most people feel good about tossing a five or a few ones in the offering plate--as though they were giving God a tip. But how can you feel satisfied tossing your Master a bone after all He's faithfully done for you--after He' been keeping you up in clothes, your breakfast cereal in the pantry, your heart beating like a drum sixty times a minute. It's not a chore to pour as much as possible back into His kingdom so that others can enjoy the same things you do. it's an honor. It's a joy. Try it. You'll see.

One of the most powerful lifestyles you can adopt is the freedom of letting God's blessings flow through you into the lives of others. When you hold on too tightly to what's yours, you miss the whole point of why God gave it to you.

"A slacker's craving will kill him because his hands refuse to work. He is filled with craving all day long, but the righteous give and don't hold back." Proverbs 21:25-26

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Passing the Torch

Good morning, Lord. I am thankful for the opportunity You have provided for me to return to work in an environment where I can have support from people who already know me.
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Tomorrow I drive up to TN for my physical and drug screen and picture ID. I am not looking forward to the picture since Monday the lady who cut my hair butchered me. However, it is only hair and it will grow back. I can always get a new one made later. I am still struggling with what is going on in my personal life. I want my marriage to work and it seems the more I want it the more evidence I get that TJ has completely given up and moved on. I don't know why I am surprised, he told me it wasn't working for him. I just believed it would work. I still haven't given up hope, although there are times when I get low and want to. Brayden is struggling in all of this, he said last night that he felt like he was pushed off a mountain and falling down, down, down into Hell. That thought scares me, that at such a young age he has so much anger built up inside him already. I pray for You to guide me on how best to deal with this. Physically I am feeling better, which is good. I still cough a lot and still have a lot of drainage, but I am on the mend, thank You, Lord. Last night Duncan and Connor called and that was sweet. Duncan was fussing at me about taking care of myself and Connor was telling me about a new book series he is reading. It is funny how sweet they both are and so alike and at the same time so very different. I miss them and would love to be back in their lives. I haven't spoken to TJ since Monday afternoon. He seems so very different, so distant. It is all in Your hands, O God.

The following is taken from The Gift the New Testament for New Believers:

You only get them for a few years. Ask someone who's already watched their kids grow up and leave the nest, and you'll find out in a hurry how fast time flies. They're eighteen, they're twenty-five, they've got children of their own, but in the mind's eye of a Mom or Dad, they should still need a phone book to sit up tall at the table.
So big. So fast. Kind of chokes you up just thinking about it.
So now's your chance to lay the groundwork for a child that God is depending on you to mold. No matter how busy you are with the rest of your life, no matter how unaccustomed you are to talking about spiritual things in front of your family, you're being counted on to model Christ to your little boy or girl, to be the picture they get of loving authority, to be the safe place they can turn to for an honest answer, to be the living evidence that all this church talk really does carry over into everyday life.
Help them learn to submit their will to yours today so that when they're out there on their own, they'll be able to submit to God's.

"If we abandon our vision for our children, we are left to wander aimlessly with no direction other than our own self-interest." Susan Card

Not every person in need of your Christian witness is at work or around the corner. The ones you'll have the est chance of reaching are the ones right in your own home. Let's never be so busy taking our message to the world that we forget the little ones right at our feet.

"My people , hear my instruction; listen to what I say. I will declare wise sayings; I will speak mysteries from the past--things we have heard and known and that our fathers have passed down to us. We must not hide them from their children, but must tell a future generation the praises of the Lord, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed. He established a testimony in Jacob and set up a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children so that a future generation--children yet to be born--might know. They were to rise and tell their children so that they might put their confidence in God and not forget God's works, but keep His commandments. Then they would not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not loyal and whose spirit was not faithful to God."
Psalm 78:1-8

Monday, February 23, 2009

Loved To Life

Today has been a good day. I was offered the job at Sycamore Shoals and accepted. Still I feel empty inside.
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I feel abandoned and so alone. I know that You are still there, Lord, yet I don't feel you. What am I doing wrong? What do You want from me?

The following comes from The Gift the New Testament for New Believers:

The hang-ups are so much more real today. Barely a person alive hasn't felt at least a glancing blow from abuse, abandonment, divorce, disillusionment. Even some people who appear to be coasting through life can be casualties of cynicism or victims drowning in the undertow of their own low self-esteem. They find it hard to accept why God is the way He is. And if He even is at all, what would make Him want to love people like them?
That's why even those who may be hungry for the things you've found aren't likely to believe everything you say. They need to see it in your life. They need to see it with your time. They need to see it when its not convenient or acceptable, but when it show how much you care about their needs and concerns.
It may take months. It may take years. It may not ever click at all. But are you willing to let God lead you to the ones He's wanting nearer? Are you wiling to invest yourself in the life of another person? Are you willing to go the extra mile to keep a friend from turning back?

No telling how many unsaved friends you have--people who are curious about your newfound faith, but not sure they're ready for it. Hang in there. Love them through it. The Lord may have waited on you for a pretty long time. How long are you willing to wait on your friends?

"Therefore, anyone of you who judges is without excuse. For when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. We know that God's judgement on those who do such things is based on the truth. Do you really think--anyone of you ho judges those who do such things yet do the same--that you will escape God's judgement? Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, restraint, and patience, not recognizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" Romans 2:1-4

"Our aim is not to force people to live like Christians, but to persuade them to consider Christ." John Fischer

Is that what I am doing? Am I judging? Am I thinking I am better? I think I am trying to live my life in a way so as to be an example, but am I? I don't know anymore. I feel so confused.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Above The Fray Unity in Diversity

This is the first Sunday I have missed church in a long time. It is not something I want to repeat very often. It has been rough, but I know You are with me, Lord.
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I am struggling with being sick physically and feeling a bit confused about TJ. He had called Thursday and said he was hoping to talk to me. I called him back Thursday afternoon and he didn't really have anything to say. I'm not sure why he wanted to talk to me. He had already emailed and apologized for not forwarding the phones. It wasn't a big deal. Anyway, I also spoke with Peggy and Connor and Duncan Thursday afternoon. It has been a struggle for Peggy with Jordan being in Copestone. She has finally accepted that he needed to be where he could get some help. Jordan has been doing much better. I know You are here and working in our lives. Thank You, Lord.

The following comes from The Gift the New Testament for New Believers.

When you first come to Christ, it seems like a dream world. Everybody's so nice, so accepting, so quick to shake your hand and take an interest in your life. But the longer you hang around, and he more you discover about the people of God--even the ones who worship on the seat right next to you--you'll find that we have a lot of differences. Different backgrounds. Different callings. Different opinions and expectations. Getting all hose differences to mesh into one unified body can be a stretch on our relating skills.
Enter the Holy Spirit--whose powerful capacity to love can fill your heart with patience and grace, helping you give people the freedom to live within their own temperaments, to move at their own pace, to express their own reasons for holding their particular brand of beliefs.
C.S. Lewis wrote, "When all is said about the divisions of Christendom, there remains by Gods' mercy an enormous common ground."
And if you can learn to be happy with that, you'll be one happy person.

Don't be surprised if you can't see eye-to-eye with everybody at church or everybody who claims to know Christ.But surprise them by loving them anyway. You won't like every person you meet in this family, but with God's help, you can learn to get along.

"If then there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, focusing on one goal. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than ourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4